Cathy Le Feuvre

A Sunday Afternoon Swim

One of the things I love to do is to swim! 

I learned to swim when I was quite little, and I've always enjoyed it - even the many hours of swimming training at school...preparations for many a swim meet. I wasn't world class (and actually I'm not that competitive), but it was fun! 

In recent years, however, swimming has become more and more important as well as enjoyable.

It's not just the exercise, although that of course is great. I also find  being in the water so relaxing. In the pool, just swimming up and down, up and down, up and down, you get a rhythm that is quite mindful. And when in the ocean, those mindful moments are enhanced by the presence of the fresh air, the salt on your lips, the feeling of buoyancy in the salty water.  I find it easy to clear my mind of stress when I'm looking at the surface of the ocean and into the horizon beyond. For me, it's a helpful mindfulness technique which allows me just to be ... rather than worrying about things I cannot change, past and future. 

Living in the lovely island of Jersey in the Channel Islands, where there are so many beaches and bays and swimming opportunities, I can often - or at least when time allows - be found in the water. In the summer, of course, it's a great place to be ... but even when the water is colder I find sea swimming really helpful for my wellbeing and mental health.

In recent years, which have been quite emotionally and physically draining at times, even a quick dip and a short sit in the sunshine, a quiet few moments to myself, has just been invaluable.  

Many people here in Jersey swim throughout the year and while I've not done that, I do start when the sea temperature rises to about 10°C. Which means that this year I stepped into the ocean in April.

Admittedly, it's a bit nippy at first, but I have some gear ... some sea gloves and special boots, and a big dry robe to wrap myself in after my swim. And the feeling of the chilly, salty water on my skin, the capture of my breath when the cold hits me, and even the little brain freeze that can sometimes happen early on in the swimming season are just exhilarating!

This year, I've decided to chart some of my swimming with a bit of a 'swimming diary', and today I dipped at the beautiful Bouley Bay on the north coast of Jersey where the swimming this afternoon was simply gorgeous. The sun sparkled on the water and the coast of France, not too far away, was visible in the distance.

The water is gradually warming up... today the general sea temperature in Jersey was apparently around 13°C.... so things ARE warming up. And, of course, it helps when the sun is out and the wind isn't blowing a gale.

It's an opportunity to share with you not just my swimming experiences, but something of the beauty of the island I call home.

Today, in the sheltered Bouley Bay, which even around low tide still has plentiful swimming water...the experience was everything!

Here's my little film, which I posted first on social media.... 

Enjoy!

 

A Little Welsh Doll

If you take any notice of this blog at all, then you will have realised that it's been a whole twelve months since I posted anything.

My last blog post was March 1st 2022 when I wished you all a 'Happy St David's Day'!

And today I repeat that greeting ... including in Welsh ... because, of course, St David is the patron saint of Wales, and today is his patronal day.

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus!

And in honour of the day, I share with you a Little Welsh Doll ... dressed in traditional Welsh attire ... but more of that later.

When I wrote my blog post last year,  I little realised what the succeeding 12 months would bring.

Let me explain ... and this will also explain my absence.

For quite a few years now I've been living with my darling Mum here in Jersey in the Channel Islands and although she grew older she remained well and happy and active. That is, until the COVID pandemic hit us and, in 2020, forced us all into 'lockdown'.

This affected Mum as it did many elderly folk across the world. We were together as a family (Mum and myself and one of my brothers) but our lives became 'smaller'. Mum's mobility altered and she became frailer. I worked from home for a couple of years but then, at the end of March 2022 I left my job, to work more 'freely' and give myself time to spend more time with Mum as her needs grew.

This time last year Mum was forgetful and not very mobile, and often terribly anxious about pretty much everything, but still herself really. Although we kept isolated, COVID finally got us in late March, and that seemed to speed up Mum's ailments. She quickly became very poorly and her forgetfulness developed into what we now know was full on dementia, with moments when she barely knew us. And yet, there were still moments of clarity and personality, and love.

In The Salvation Army, the Christian denomination (church) that Mum and I are aligned with, when someone dies we say they are 'Promoted to Glory' because we believe that when we die we do not 'disappear' into nothingness, but rather as believers we go to Heaven to be with God and Jesus and all those who have gone before.

In early May last year, our darling Mum was 'promoted to glory'. And although I know that, at the end, she was ready to go ... so tired and so poorly ... the shock of losing her was immense for us all, especially her family.

Mum was the centre of our family, the secure point in my life certainly. She had a special relationship with all her children and I, as the only girl, was privileged to have a beautiful relationship with her. She was not just my mother, but my role model in life and faith, my friend, the person to whom I turned for recognition and affirmation and wise counsel.

And, suddenly, she was gone. No more smiles or laughter, stories, kisses and hugs, support and advice.

The grief I've experienced in the past year has been ... well ... earth shattering for me.

For months I just couldn't operate at all. I was so tired - physically and emotionally exhausted - from the many months of caring for Mum as she became less well and less mobile, more anxious and more vulnerable. Not to mention the last six weeks or so including the final few weeks sitting beside her, holding her hand in hospital as she slowly slipped away. As a family we were able to say our final 'goodbyes' but the whole process ... including hospital issues which I won't go into right now ... was devastating. Losing her has also brought other challenges and anxieties for me and often I have found myself wanting some advice and not having Mum, my sounding board, to turn to.

Right now I'm still tearful at times because I miss Mum so much...but the gut wrenching grief, which overwhelmed me in those first days, weeks and months and which rendered me immobile at times ... is beginning to level out. A little.

And these days I find myself remembering and smiling, sometimes through a few tears, but more often with thanks for the lovely person Mum was, and the relationship I had with her, and the legacy of faith and love that she left us, her family, with.

Today was one of those days and this is where the Little Welsh Doll comes in.

My Mum was originally from Wales and she was very proud of her Welsh heritage ... she kept the traces of her Welsh accent even though she lived out of that country for most of her life. 

Years ago my 'Auntie' Lil, one of my Mum's 'Best Friends' in Wales, made this little doll, probably for a Salvation Army church fair, knitting the outfit which represents the traditional Welsh female national dress. Mum often said that when she was a little girl, she used to be dressed up in the dress, apron, shawl and big hat on St David's Day and for other special occasions. She loved that doll because it reminded her of her childhood and her family who raised her, her heritage, and her friends. The shawl also reminded her that when we, her four children, were babies, she swaddled us close to herself in a Welsh blanket or shawl as generations of Welsh mothers had done before her.

That Little Welsh Doll usually sits on her dresser, but in the past few years we've placed it on the other side of the lounge, on the fireplace mantlepiece where it was in her line of sight from her chair. Seeing it there made Mum smile, and brought memories flooding back.

This time last year when the doll was once again placed on the mantlepiece, we again had a conversation, as we had so many times, about the Welsh costume days, and the Salvation Army bring and buy 'fairs' or sales, especially in the early days of my Mum and Dad's Christian ministry as officers or church leaders of The Salvation Army, some of those spent in South Wales itself.

So, today, I took Mum's Little Welsh Doll from the dresser, blew off a few specks of dust which had gathered on the dress, and placed it on the mantlepiece.

And I smiled, albeit through a few tears, and remembered my Mum with all the love in the world.

I miss our conversations, even if we had them over and over in the past few years. I miss her so much, and every day, and probably will do so until it is my time to cross over to that other land. 

But today, as I remember St David and all my Welsh family and friends, scattered across the world, I smile and remember my darling Mum and give thanks to God that we as her family and friends, and the world, was privileged to have her for so long (nine decades) and we were privileged to be able to care for her at home until almost the end. I give thanks even for those final hours as we watched her slip into Heaven, heart breaking as it was.

Thanks Mum! Love you Lots! See you in the morning!

Hope you're enjoying your first St David's Day in Heaven!

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus!

Blue Monday or Multi-coloured Monday?

Sorry to announce this but ... if you weren't already aware ... today is ...

BLUE MONDAY!

Depressing I know ... again ... sorry!

Today is the third Monday of January, a day which apparently is supposed to be the 'gloomiest' day of the year.

It's sort of midwinter so in some parts of the world the weather is cold and dark and damp ...  that can be a bit depressing. After Christmas some of us are facing debt, and the bills will start rolling in. If we've made New Year's Resolutions, some of us may have fallen off our intended wagon already. All round, it's a day when all the things that are 'bad' in our lives seem to congregate.

Or is it?

Interestingly Blue Monday only dates back to about 2005 - the idea was included in a press release from the British travel company Sky Travel who cited psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall. He had devised an algorithm which indicated that the third Monday in January is the one on which we feel the most gloomy. 

It was a way just to sell holidays!

However, as the media and advertising industries are wont to do, everyone jumped on the concept and since then the day has been in the international diary, with hours of time dedicated today to telling us why we may be feeling sad, and what we can/should do about it. 

And VOILÀ!

Today it's a thing which we all think is real!

However, since that first Blue Monday, even the man behind the formula, Dr Arnall, has said it was never his intention to made the day sound so depressing and that unfortunately the coining of that phrase has, in many cases, become a 'self-fulfilling prophecy'. We hear it's 'Blue Monday' and we automatically tend to feel ... well ... BLUE!

The idea has been de-bunked over and over again, including by mental health organisations, who feel the branding of the day is really unhelpful. Actually some now would like us to call the day 'MULTI-COLOURED MONDAY'!

That's much better, don't you think? 

Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we're encouraged to turn everything on its head. Wear bright clothing, think positive, go for a walk ... you know what I'm talking about!

But back to the original Blue Monday idea  ... as I said, it really is a construct of the advertising and media industries and while there are companies and organisations happy to jump on the band wagon it'll be difficult to shift in our psyche. These days companies use it to sell all sort of 'cures' for our gloomy mood ...  vitamin pills, drinks, exercises programmes and equipment as well as those hotel rooms and holidays in the sun. 

Due to the fact that the day has been hijacked by companies with something to sell off the back of people's perceived misery, it's unlikely to be replaced soon by the more positive messaging ... but I'm with mental health campaigners who have stressed that depression isn’t something to be capitalised on. 

I hold my hand up ... before I understood much about this I did run 'Blue Monday' features on my radio shows ... although I believe in the final years of my days in the studio I did introduce the alternative 'Multi-coloured Monday' and tried to concentrate on the positive!

And that's what I'm concentrating on today.

After all, today is not a 'real thing' ... it's made up and we can choose to fixate on it or not. It's certainly most unhelpful at a time when many of us may not be at our best, still feeling the effects of the coronavirus pandemic including restrictions and the constant news coverage of the worst of the COVID figures and deaths!

Dr Arnall himself has urged us all to 'refute the whole notion' - so are you with me?

Let's ditch the blue ... maybe consider wearing something bright and colourful. Speak to a friend, laugh out loud ... and avoid watching those depressing news programmes and TV shows which at the moment seem to be increasingly emphasising the depressing situation facing the world today, including using words like 'crisis', 'disaster' and 'critical' and 'catastrophe'.

Of course, if we are feeling really bad then we may need to seek some professional help - that's important.

But we can also try to just breathe through today, rise above all the negative stuff that may be thrown at us, try to look on the bright side of life, simply try to enjoy life and smile!

Especially today!

Have a great day everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Caution! World Under Repair

It's New Year's Eve 2020.

And if you weren't already aware, we're at the end of ... here we go ... I'll say it .... 'a very strange year'!

There - that's done! 

I could say much about the different ways we've learned to live, the things we've missed out on, the expectations dashed, the woes of the past almost 12 months during which a microscopic virus has locked us in, locked us out! Of life, of love, of the things and people and activities and experiences we love.

But I won't! Done that, been there, along with millions of others who have put pen to paper or fingers to keyboard this year!

I'll just tell you about a walk I took this lunchtime which, weirdly, turned out to be a bit of an analogy for life as we travel from 2020 into 2021. 

I live in a lovely place called Jersey - it's one of the Channel Islands, just off the coast of France, but British - and walks on the beach, or at least along the coastline, are my favourite!

One of my usual walks is from West Park, St Helier, to First Tower and back ... not more than a mile or two all told, but bracing on a winter's day!

I set out in the sunshine but we've been having a lot of showers recently and right at the start of my walk I spotted a rainbow.

Not a massive arc in the sky, but certainly a rainbow ... the kind which popped up in the early days of the pandemic in windows and on pebbles on the beach, drawn by unknown people as a symbol of hope in the darkness.

And straightaway I was filled with a strange optimism.

 

Yes, the sky was dark on the horizon, clouds still full of rain, ominous over Elizabeth Castle on the little islet in St Aubin's Bay,  but the sky above was strikingly blue.

2020 might have been full of gloom but in all that there has also been some brightness. Remember how we all pulled together in those early days, to keep ourselves safe, to keep others safe?  Remember how we kept our distance, washed our hands, wore our masks ?Remember how we clapped for our carers at 8pm on a Thursday evening, showing our appreciation for all those who were caring for us in hospitals and care homes, serving us in the shops and on public transport ? Keeping our communities working ? Saying 'thank you' to those who are usually forgotten but who, for a while, we realised were the real heroes of our communities.

But I looked into those dark clouds and was reminded  that it's not over yet. The second spike of this wretched coronavirus is hitting us hard not just here in Jersey but across the world. People are still sick, dying in vast numbers, isolating. Some people are still unfortunately not behaving like we are in the midst of a global pandemic. Some seem to have forgotten the sacrifices of the early months of this year, and the ongoing sacrifices that some are still making to ensure the ones they love stay safe. For some of us that means still working from home after nearly a year, forgoing the company of even our close family at Christmas and New Year and on birthdays and other special anniversaries. 

But as I peered into the horizon I spotted something really beautiful ... like a golden line just on the sealine, under the cloud. Just where the sun was hitting the water.

And then I looked up ... there IS blue sky overhead.

Could I equate that to the Covid-19 vaccines which are on the way ?

Perhaps! That's one way of looking at it.

But maybe it's about more  than that. 

It reminded me that when we pull together and remember that others matter as much as ourselves, maybe sometimes more than ourselves, we can get a handle on this! We did it in the spring and summer of 2020 and then we lost focus. We thought we could relax. We believed that we were invincible. We were wrong!

Along the seafront in St Aubin's Bay in Jersey the pink granite seawalls have recently taken a battering from the storms, the high seas, the winds of winter. They are hardy and strong, but even they couldn't stand the onslaught of nature.

But they are being repaired - even on New Year's Eve the guys were out doing their stuff to rebuild these beautiful defences.  It's not a job that will be completed overnight. It must be done with precision and care to ensure that the wall survives when the storms come again, as we know they will! 

As we enter 2021 I am reminded that we are in this for the long haul. Our World is 'Under Repair'!

We are not there yet. Even with the much acclaimed and longed for vaccines, we still have a long way to go. We still need to wear masks, keep our distances, endlessly sanitise our hands. There's no letting up. 

But if we all pull together, try to forgo our personal agendas and think of the wider common good, then with the added bonus of the vaccines, we may find that this coming year will be healthier and better than the last. We need to stay alert and not forget the year that was 2020. There are lessons in that there time for us all! 

The storm is still there ... over the horizon ... and it will come back I'm sure. But the blues skies are overhead! 

Happy New Year everyone! Stay safe! 

*All pictures /images by Cathy Le Feuvre

                                                                                                                                                      

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life in the Time of Covid19*

It's been more than a month now since Jersey in the Channel Islands - it's a small British island which lies just off the coast of Normandy in France - went into 'Lockdown'.

It was Monday March 30th and after witnessing the spread of the coronavirus from the end of 2019 and watching what was going on in the UK which introduced social distancing and other rules on social gatherings on March 23rd, our government announced similar restrictions to prevent the spread of the disease.

Since the end of March many islanders have been 'self isolating' in our homes, especially if they are over 65 (which, if you're reading this in 2020... I'm not .. yet!) I'm working from home because, although I am not in any particular danger, I look after my Mum who turned 90 a couple of weeks ago. We have been allowed outdoors for 2 hours a day for shopping, trips for healthcare or exercise. But we've pretty much stayed indoors.

Lots of people have called this a 'strange' time!

It is! 

As a writer I kept saying to myself 'you really should be documenting all this!' Writing a diary? At least blogging? But somehow, in all the weird lethargy of the times, I haven't quite got around to it. I did start writing something on April 1st but didn't post it because … what I wrote felt like an APRIL FOOL! You could make it up!

And then, I asked myself a second question 'what actually have you got to say?' That's because I feel like my life at the moment is incredibly BORING! I look at social media posts and everyone is being so creative - making stuff, home schooling, using their 2 hours for spectacular excursions, whether they should be doing so or not - and in comparison … I'm doing nothing. Or that's what it feels like!

Now, however, as the pandemic continues to sweep across the globe and more and more people are infected, affected and die, I feel I need to write! I realise as time goes on that being intimidated by what others are saying they are doing on social media, is worthless. Whether we know it or not, even the smallest day to day elements of life during such a strange time are worth documenting. Aren't they?

SO here goes … 

I AM working from home.  I work for the BBC local radio station (BBC Radio Jersey) and they sent me home and set me up with a computer with all the links to programmes and editing facilities, on March 31st. And it's busy.

Here in Jersey we are working our way up to the 75th anniversary of the Liberation of our island on Saturday May 9th. If you're not aware, the Channel Islands were the only place in the British Isles that were invaded and occupied by the German Nazi regime during the Second World War. We celebrate the Liberation from our Occupation every year, but  Liberation75 was meant to be a fantastic public commemoration, with masses of events planned. That's all been cancelled due to this wretched virus, although much is now happening online.

At BBC Radio Jersey, we're still planning lots to mark the day, which follows the celebration of the 75th anniversary of VE Day in the UK on May 8th. And as Communities Journalist in Jersey I'm helping to gather stories, and I've been involved in some long running projects in the run up to May 9th. So I've had loads of editing to do!

It's very surreal though. My 'office' is my Mum's dining room. No outdoor window but a couple of lovely paintings on the wall of Jersey scenes, and surrounded by family photos on the piano and mantlepiece.

Although I try not to, I find myself sitting for hours at my computer, only getting up occasionally to enjoy a cuppa, have a 'comfort break',  receive socially distanced post which has been pushed through the letterbox by the safe postman, chatting to Mum and my brother, who is also socially isolated at home (he's a Personal Trainer and he can't work right now because gyms are shut) and very occasionally, walking around the garden to get a bit of fresh air.

I've realised that at work we normally do break up our day. We chat with colleagues, we go make some tea or coffee, occasionally I have to walk three floors downstairs to open the door to visitors when our receptionist is on a break, we have meetings. And I'm missing all that … even the annoying doorbells!

I've discovered that it's very easy to become disconnected with the work programme. I have found myself becoming a little paranoid from time to time that OTHERS think I'm doing nothing here at home and I'm just sitting here waiting for their instructions. At other times I've found myself thinking 'Well they can't be doing much there in the office because it feels like I'm doing everything!' 

Both emotions are, of course, ridiculous in the extreme. But it's one of the results of isolation and if it's affecting me, someone who is usually pretty upbeat, then it must be having really detrimental affects on others who are not so fortunate of myself. 

I can go for walks. I have been for a few over the past month and they've been glorious! They've been mostly on the beach near to my home, the stretch of sand from West Park in St Helier to First Tower in St Aubin's Bay, which is fabulous! I should go for more exercise but by the end of the day in front of the computer I'm exhausted! And the weekends seem to go so fast, with an early morning Saturday shopping trip which has got earlier and earlier to avoid the social distancing long queues and cooking and cleaning and washing, and, truth be told,  just sitting in front of the TV.

By the way I have 'social mediared' some walks which I realise means that I'm part of that online weirdness that makes others feel incomplete. It's a complex world we live in.

I have a garden. Must get round to clearing some weeds soon as the weather warms up a bit.

Less traffic in the roads outside the house means I can hear the birds more clearly. I'm sure they've always been there but often we've not been able to hear them often over the general hum and hubbub of modern life. 

Meanwhile, in our beautiful island, as of TODAY we have 292 cases of COVID19 confirmed, 199 people have recovered and sadly 24 people have died with links to coronavirus.

I'm a journalist, so you might also expect me to report today on the world statistics ...  as of right now, in the UK 186,599 people have been confirmed with the virus, up 4,339 in the past 24 hours. Deaths stand at 28,446, up 315 on yesterday. Yes that daily figure seems to be falling at the moment, and 1,918 people have recovered. Across the globe there have been 3,462,682 deaths linked to coronavirus, up more than 76,000 in the last 24 hours. People who have recovered is 1,110,719 and the numbers who have died stands at 244,911 (up nearly 5,500 on yesterday).

I say 'statistics', but of course each person represents a life, a family, relationships. Every life lost is a tragedy. And, of course, people aren't just dying of COVID19. I've lost a couple of friends and acquaintances during these past weeks, of different long term conditions, and one of the awful things is that because of the restrictions on gatherings, we can't give them the send off they deserve.

But, one of the great things about this time in our lives is that it seems it's given us a new appreciation of people who make our world work. The health professionals and care workers, shop workers, postmen and women, the people who empty our bins. SO many people who until we entered this strange time, were invisible, undervalued, underpaid. Every Thursday evening at 8pm here in Jersey and across the wider British Isles, we stand in our streets and Clap for the Carers, showing our appreciation of all those people who nurse us when we're ill care for us, keep food on the shelves, help us stay in touch with each other and generally keep our world ticking over.  

We don't clap for the overpaid sports personalities and reality TV stars, the celebrities who (still) populate our TV screens, making money out of this situation by being paid to give us endless insights into how they're coping with lockdown in their posh homes and mansions! We clap for those who live in tiny homes, struggling to pay their bills.

We don't clap for the people who take home six figure salaries in the finance industry. We clap for the people who barely scrape a living in life.

We clap for what we have termed in the past  'the little people'. They are not little anymore. They are saving lives, putting their own lives at risk just so we can be safe and stay safe. 

And I pray that when this is all over we will continue to value those for whom we clap on a Thursday. That they will be able to negotiate better pay and better conditions. And that our 21st century British obsession with nonsense like celebrities who are famous for simply being famous and which currently dominates much of our culture, will disappear

And so we come to this weekend. Yesterday (May 2) some of the restrictions on movement were slightly raised here in Jersey. Now we are allowed to go out for four hours a day. We're allowed to meet others (just two) outside our own households. And our 'time out' can be for any purpose, not just exercise and shopping. Our Health Minister has warned that the change could lead to more deaths, but the government are already talking about relaxing some of the rules on the way restaurants can operate, and more. 

Yesterday and today I ventured out (shopping anda  short walk) and I've already noticed many more people out and about. People gathering in larger groups, especially young people. Although the government still advises 'social distancing' (staying more than 2metres apart) I saw many people not doing so. I read social media posts from people delighted that 'the Lockdown is over!'

It is NOT! 

It's just now we have our medical ducks in a row and will be able to cope with the upsurge in cases of COVID 19. We've seen a temporary 'Nightingale Hospital' go up in record time on a field near St Helier, our main town. It will house sick people in isolated wards. Cost? £14m! But I fear that the cost in lives will be even more devastating as people relax, mingle more and spread the dreaded coronavirus.

So how am I feeling today - Sunday May 3rd? Well, a little fearful for our island and it's people, many of whom right now are living with false hope.

And as for me and mine? We will remain locked in, socially isolated, wearing masks and gloves to go out, practising social distancing for a long while yet. Even if we slowly go slightly mad with the isolation. I'm a person of Christian faith, so that sustains me and gives me the optimism I need. I believe in prayer so I pray. And I practice some deep breathing and positive praying/thinking when it all becomes too much and I start to get a little panic attack.

But most of all, I remind myself that this time WILL pass.

It won't last forever.

Will it?

*The title of this blog post nods in the direction of a brilliant book called 'Love in the Time of Cholera' which is a novel by the Colombian Nobel prize winning author Gabriel García Márquz  (Spanish: El amor en los tiempos del cólera) … if you haven't read it … please do!

A Day like Today

Winter is on the way.

How do I know this? Well,  the date on the calendar, for one thing, tells me we are in the last few months of 2018.  Soon enough the days will grow cooler, even colder and the trees will be stripped of their foliage helped by the sharp winds blowing off the sea, and the rain will undoubtedly set in for days, even weeks, and perhaps the world will turn white. 

The days will be dark and long, days of bundling up in thick coats and scarves, and hats and gloves, wrapped up against the cold and rain, and even snow. On those days it will feel, as it always does, that winter will not end, that the darkness will never cease. That never again will the sun warm our bones, or the water feel warm against our skin.

It's on those days that I will remember days like today.

A day to walk on the beach, listening to the waves crash on the shore, paddling my feet in the warm ocean. Feeling the sun on my skin, relishing the final moments of a long hot summer which has managed to extend into the end of autumn.

 

It's on bad days, when nothing is right and there seems to be no hope for the future that we can remember the days when life was great, knowing that just as the tide comes in and out, in and out, in and out every day, the sad moments won't last and good times will return.

There will be warm days again, even when the world has chilled our bodies and our hearts and even our spirits to the core. Even when there seems to be no hope in life, we will remember days like this when life and spirits were high and all was well with the world.

How do we know this? Well,  if we've been given good days in the past we surely will receive them again. For me, that just makes sense. It's the circle of life. It's all a matter of faith, and hope.

Poor Role Models in our Sad British Culture

So, BBC television's latest series of The Apprentice UK has finally ground to it's conclusion.

The entrepreneur and businessman Lord Alan Sugar has chosen his newest 'partner' who will get a QUARTER OF A MILLION POUNDS (that's £250,000) to set up a new business.

For those of us interested in the cause of women, and the promotion of intelligent, enterprising individuals of the 'fairer sex', there was good news because both finalists were female....Luisa Zissman and Leah Totton.

But that, I'm afraid, is where the rejoicing ended.

Both the 'L's' reckoned their proposed business ventures were keying into current 'trends' in society...which when you read their business ideas, says something rather sad about our British culture.

Luisa, an already successful businesswoman, proposed a new baking/cupcake franchise. A little obvious and cliched but, I would argue, fairly harmless. 

Leah, or to give her real title, DOCTOR Leah, was advocating something substantially more sinister and suspect - a chain of non-surgical cosmetic clinics and associated skin care products.

I have to admit I watched the semi finals and was convinced that Luisa would take the Apprentice Crown. Not because I particularly thought that the world needed another cupcake business, but because I really did not think that the usually rather sensible Alan Sugar would go anywhere near the cosmetic surgery business.

I WAS WRONG!

'Doctor Leah' won!

First I was incredulous. Then a little angry. And now I'm just sad.

It's an real testament to our shallow, appearance-obsessed British culture and society that Lord Sugar is willing to invest such a large sum of money into an 'industry' (Dr Leah's own words) which perpetuates the myth that 'beauty' can be bought and, more importantly, that to make it in the world, one really needs to be 'beautiful'. Her clinics will also allegedly provide 'anti-ageing' treatments such as botox injections. SO not only do you have to be beautiful, but it's also better to be young or at least pretend to be/look young.

Now,  I understand that not everyone in the plastic/cosmetic surgery industry is just in it for the money...I have met and know people who have benefited from essential cosmetic surgery following accidents and disfigurement, illness and disability. But I fear that it will not be these people who Dr Leah will be targeting.

Hers will be the sort of clinics where people (probably women, more probably young women) will walk in to request things to be filled,  lifted and smoothed over simply in order to 'look good' and because they can afford it. Or maybe not.  While I'm sure a few may well need some treatments for conditions like severe acne and other skin conditions, which can be destructive for self confidence, most likely Dr Leah's 'clients' will be those simply requiring to 'look more beautiful'.

My main problem with Sir Alan's choice is what this says about our sad British culture.

You'll have more a chance in life if you are 'beautiful'? If you're not 'beautiful' perhaps you should just  forget being successful and happy?  That beauty comes before brains, or that brains ideally should be accompanied by beauty? During The Apprentice, Dr Leah herself admitted on several occasions that her own appearance is very important to her, even though as a qualified doctor, she obviously has intelligence. Luisa and Leah both played on their 'sexiness' and 'beauty' to promote themselves throughout the series. Unfortunately, it appears to have worked.

While I'm all for people making the best of themselves, presenting their smartest face to the world, even making improvements in their appearance (that, after all, is why we visit the hairdressers, wear makeup, like nice clothes etc) Dr Leah's 'success' in The Apprentice sends out all the wrong messages.

If I had a chance to speak to Leah myself I would say something very simple. Please remember that 'beauty' is in the eye of the beholder. We don't all have to be plumped lipped, false boobed, voluminously haired, perfectly whitened teethed, nipped and tucked, skinny would-be clones of some weird Footballer Wife, staggering treacherously through our shallow little lives on eight inch heels, to be part of the human race. Older people make huge contributions to society every moment of the day and growing old should not be a disgraceful prospect.

Leah, of course, witters on, insisting that HER clinics will be driven by ethical and moralistic conduct, and regulation on use of drugs/procedures will be strictly adherred to. She insists that she'll magnanimosly turn down potential clients if she (or her staff) think they really don't need or won't benefit from a 'treatment'.

I'm sorry. I just don't buy it.

Dr Leah's clinics will be profit making businesses and when it comes to the bottom line, cash will be king. If someone is willing to hand over thousands of pounds for a procedure, are you REALLY telling me that Dr Leah will not be tempted to take it to pay for what is likely to be her ever increasingly glamourous and costly lifestyle?

But Dr Leah's 'success' in The Apprentice is even more worrying for a couple of other reasons.

The girl is only 24 yet she's already setting herself up as an 'expert' in the cosmetic surgery/health field.

She apparently only qualified as a doctor in summer 2012.  That's just ONE YEAR AGO!

She's working in the National Health Service but according to news reports has still found time to privately also train in cosmetic surgery for two years. Today, leading doctors in the plastic surgery business have condemned Dr Leah's plans, explaining that most professionals train for at least eight or nine years before opening private clinics.

Would YOU take advice from a doctor who's got such limited experience, but who wants to fill your face with botox? Or, more importantly, wants to get her senior nurse practictioner to fill your face with botox? At one point in the selection procedure Leah admitted that although she, the doctor, would be in charge of the enterprise, her clinics would be manned by nurses, not doctors. She insists she'll still be off continuing with her 'research', so presumably when you enter a 'Dr Leah Clinic' for a quick lunchtime treatment, Dr Leah won't be wielding the big syringe!

But give the girl credit, she is, at least, a qualified doctor. And this is my second problem with her success on The Apprentice. She herself boasted that she's spent 7 years being trained, training which presumably has been paid for by the National Health Service and therefore, by us...the British taxpayers. Yet now, no sooner than she's taken advantage of us for years of costly training,  she's off into 'private practice' presumably to make loads of money!

Finally, and sadly, Leah could have become such a role model.  She impressed the judges, including Lord Sugar, with her intelligence and businesslike approach to life and as a doctor she could have become such a great example, especially for other young women. Who knows, she might have aspired to be a groundbreaking brain or heart surgeon, a 'real' doctor, a saver of lives in our cash-starved National Health Service.  Now though, she's chosen, in my opinion, to squander any real potential for lifelong good with a 'career' which ultimately relies on the insecurity of women and peddles the lie that if you've got enough money you can make yourself 'beautiful', ergo successful and important.

This morning I listened to BBC Woman's Hour and heard a really fabulous interview about a new 'popstar' - one Catherine Bennett aka 'live artist' Bryony Kimmings. Catherine is the creation of Bryony's 9-year-old niece, Taylor, who is now her 'manager'. She's the result of Taylor's wish to have a role model who isn't just a clone of someone else's view of what is beautiful and talented, and her songs not just a perpetuation of the sexualised and commercialised music targeted at and influencing the 'tweens' of which Taylor is one.

Catherine is a part time singer. In real life she works  in a museum and is a paleontologist - she investigates dinosaurs! She's backed by leading music producers and the Arts Council, and is 'likeable superstar' who wears glasses and 'normal' clothes and sings a sort of euro pop which avoids references to sex, money and love. In her debut song 'Apathy' now posted on YouTube, she encourages young people to get involved in social issues.

Young Taylor has fortunately already recognised the lie that is the world into which Dr Leah has already been sucked and would wish to suck others. A false world where, it seems, appearance and 'beauty' rules above integrity, intelligence and common sense. Taylor said she wants to be a midwife when she 'grows up', to help bring new life into the world. That's amazing!

I don't wish Leah ill but I truly hope that the public, especially those already vulnerable about their appearance, won't be taken in by her hype.  But she's already got a PR Agent and undoubtedly she'll put herself on the celebrity circuit, sell lots of stories to the media, be seen at all the celebrity events, where she will rub shoulders with all the insecure individuals who will just love to become one of her victims and pay her handsomely for the right to be plucked, lifted and enhanced to within an inch of their lives.

That is - provided she gets a licence to operate. She's pledged to be driven by regulation so presumably will be expecting to be operating legitimately and within strict guidelines. Given some of the adverse comments coming out of the plastic surgery industry today I just wonder if she will be considered experienced enough to have a licence to open. 

But that, dear reader, is another story.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just About Sales?

You might think this is a trivial issue -  but something is bothering me!

If I'm perfectly honest, it's been lurking in the back of my head for a little while, but only in recent weeks have I started to articulate my thoughts.

SO why haven't I come out and spoken about it before? Well for one thing, I don't want to appear thick. Is this, I ask myself, something about which I should KNOW, instinctively?

Secondly, I don't want to seem ungrateful at what is being provided for me. And I certainly don't want people to think I don't want to look after myself, because - of course - I do!

What is it occupying my time and thoughts?

Well.... it's the HUGE range of TOOTHPASTE which is on the market!

Just watching the TV I've become aware of this phenomenon. There's...

• Toothpaste for Sensitive Teeth
• Toothpaste which Whitens your Teeth
• Toothpaste which is designed to ensure the gaps in between your teeth are clean, as well as the parts of the teeth which can be seen by the world
• Toothpaste to combat tooth DECAY!
• Toothpaste which stops GUM DISEASE!
• Toothpaste which ensures the enamel on our teeth doesn't disappear
• Toothpaste which gets rid of that scourge of us all - PLAQUE!
• Toothpaste which irradicates that other source of terrible shame - TARTAR!

That's just for starters. I'm sure you can add more.

Just strolling down the aisle of my local supermarket today, I was once again reminded of all the different types of toothpaste available to me. White, green, pink, striped. Minty and unflavoured. There are gels, and pastes, and even powders! It's all so confusing!

Returning home, I was determined to do more than just be competely baffled. So I turned to that trusty aide - my computer. Here's where my problems really started. There are literally hundreds (if not more) websites devoted to teeth, toothpaste and all things orally hygenic!

Some are just informational, others more educational. There are those which are designed for younger teeth, some are historical and just plain scary,  others just a bit of fun. Toothpaste, it appears,  can be used for much more than whitening/saving/cleaning your teeth!

I know that the arrival of toothpaste in our world means that, generally speaking, the dental health of the globe has improved considerably. No longer, as in the past, do people need to devise wooden pegs for false teeth which were, apparently, available and in use (in Japan at least) until the early part of the 20th century. Now THAT's scary!

But really - do we have to have QUITE such a range of options on the toothpaste front? Is the vast numbers of pastes, gels and more on the Toothpaste shelves at the supermarket more to do with sales and advertising than anything else?

AND SO WE COME TO THE QUESTION WHICH HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR A WHILE ....

Why can't we have a toothpaste which Whitens, ensures Good Sensitivity, protects Gums, fights Tooth Decay, Plaque and Tartar, cleans the secret and hidden parts of our mouths as well as the bits on public display, freshens our breath and does everything we want it to do - all in ONE PRODUCT?

It is, I'm guessing, not entirely because the producers of dental products are committed to the general improvement of the dental world. I'm GUESSING that there may be something in it for the conglomerates who sell the products. I know - I'm such a cynic!

I'm also guessing that if ... if .... someone was to produce that ONE SINGLE PRODUCT which did everything we'd ever want and need in a toothpaste, there would be no requirement for the plethora of expensive dental product advertisements. We would all be happy with our little tube of DO IT ALL TOOTHPASTE and the advertising industry wouldn't have to spend endless hours coming up with slogans and jingles, sourcing people with already perfect teeth to show us how our teeth should really be, and dentists happy to promote one particular brand.

Yes, I guess with the development of that one perfect toothpaste there would be a lot of people out of work! That's the way of the world!

I've nothing (much) against the worlds of product development and advertising....but sometimes it all seems a bit pointless, doesn't it?

I am sure there will be those out there who will want to comment on why (scientifically) we need all the different pastes and gels and liquids, and powders. There may be some wanting to defend the members of the advertising industry who spend days, weeks and even months in a room devising new ways of selling another new product to the unsuspecting general public. And, of course, there will be those who will wish to champion the different manufacturers of toothpaste who need to keep producing new products to keep us all happy.

You can see why I've been loathe to come out on the subject before.

It's not that I don't care about my teeth - I am actually a fantatical brusher! It's not that I'm unintelligent, but really the science behind toothpaste is beyond me, I'm not ashamed to admit it!

And, of course, I'm very very grateful for toothpaste. In previous centuries I might already be toothless and having to gum all my food to death, or having to use bits of stick to scrape the nasties off my nashers. I might have had to turn to the kitchen where baking soda on a rag would have had  to suffice for teeth scrubbing, or I might have had to clean out the fireplace to get some woodash to smear on - actually, I've discovered, some still swear by those remedies. If I was not so fortunate as to be able to afford toothpaste I might be with the many millions in the world today who still use sugar cane and other twigs to clean their teeth, or just don't bother with oral hygeine because it's more important to eat and ensure their children eat!

But - and this is where I enter the world of imagination and fantasy and my mind begins to roam once again.  I wonder if we might ever return to a more simple time when toothpaste was just for cleaning teeth - nothing more, nothing less? No hype, no complicated science, no guilt. Just toothpaste!

 

 

 

 

 

Facebook Gambling Alert

If you are a user of Facebook, some of you (especially here in the UK) will have noticed recently that us FBrs are now having our timelines flooded with advertisements for gambling - slots, casinos and all sorts of gambling 'games' including 'online gambling' which encourages people to gamble at home.

These ads are often pretty and colourful  - one even has the name 'Candy Shop Slots' - and they could be very enticing. Many offer the first 'play' free and similar financial enducements....a very typical marketing ploy from the gambling companies wanting to lure in new players!

 

The Background
Last August, Facebook changed it's 'rules' on running gambling ads. It means that now FB accepts ads from gambling companies, for promotion of both 'offline' and 'online' gambling ie for casinos you can visit personally and for games you can play at home on your computer, presumably using your credit card and with little or no controls over the amount of time/money you spend! 

The most interesting thing to note is that some ads for online gambling are illegal in some parts of the world (eg USA) but here in the UK the gambling industry is free to advertise with seemingly little regulation. And the gambling companies are already being actively encouraged to target those of us unfortunate to be in their sights, as you'll see if you get to the end of this article!

The advertisement are apparently only being put on the timelines of us 'adults' but parents may want to check from time to time that their kids are not receiving them and not being sucked into what can be a very dangerous and addictive 'habit'. This is a matter of child protection!

 

I am aware that organisations like FB need to make money, but this departure is just too cynical for words. Surely there has to be a more responsible way of maximising profits other than acting as agents for an (gambling) industry whose sole aim is to part people from their hard earned cash, an industry which relies on people developing and sustaining an addiction.  Facebook wouldn't be allowed to promote the sale of alcohol, cigarettes or drugs....but it is facilitating the growth of another very serious addiction. Gambling, we know, is usually viewed as a 'bit of fun' but unfortunately it can also lead to debt, family breakdown, crime and even suicide when people find that their gambling addiction is out of control! 

Blocking / Hiding / Reporting Facebook Gambling Ads

Facebook doesn't allow us to block ads from our FB timelines but we can hide them by clicking on the little x on the top right of the ads and then reporting them. I have been checking the 'Against my views' or Offensive' boxes. If I keep getting the ads, I might even tick the 'Sexually Explict' box just to see if that stops FB from posting these ads on my pages!

I have also reported the ads to Facebook explaining that I think FB's decision to allow gambling ads is very dodgy. To report ...go to the 'help' section (find that on the little wheel top right hand of your page). Put in the words 'report ads' in the search box and then click on 'how can I report an ad I see on Facebook'. Read the blurb and find the link to the report page and follow the instructions. Note of caution...it involves taking a screenshot of your FB page showing the gambling ads you want to report!

 

Just pawns in a game
If you are still unconvinced about the whole FB Gambling issue and the dangers therein, you might like to check out the following website:

Facebook Changes Policies On Gambling Advertisements | Casino Affiliate Programs

What you will see on this site is advice to the gambling industry itself on how they can take advantage of the new relaxed Facebook rules.  You might like to check out what they think about us FBrs...we are ideal 'target customers' and FB is a great way for them to market their casinos, bingo, slots and paid for games! They obviously see Facebook as a partner and they undoubtedly think we're suckers!

Excerpt from Casino Affiliates Programs:
'More people spend their time on Facebook than any other website in the world. Facebook can help casinos target their ads to their demographic. Their audience tends to have an income of about $50,000 a year, have at least some college education and live in the north central part of the country. Don’t you want to get the attention of your target customers? Facebook ads could be the best marketing strategy available to you....

This decision will only affect you if you intend to target gamblers outside the US or countries where Facebook will allow ads.'

 

Facebook is a fantastic and trusted social medium, helping family and friends stay in touch and bringing people together across the miles. It started out with such great intentions but unfortunately it appears to be losing its way. It's a shame. It's a real shame!

Finally Climbing My Tree

As a freelance writer, pr, journalist and much more I'm getting to work on SO many interesting projects. But sometimes they're not just interesting, they are inspirational and I also get to mix work with pleasure!

I've known Lisa and Jeremy Davis for years and years - I first met Lisa probably 30-odd years ago through The Salvation Army in the Channel Islands (she's from Guernsey and a LOT younger than me, I'm Jersey!) and then I had the pleasure of making friends with Jeremy!

I saw them in May this year at a big Salvation Army event in London and I had quite a shock - Jeremy seemed to have halved in size!

He's always been a big, cuddly, smiling, friendly kind of guy .... and he was still smiling, friendly and happy but he had also lost an amazing amount of weight.  I, and apparently many more of his friends, were intrigued as to how he'd managed to shed so many pounds and, a few months later when the three of us met over a cup of tea in a hotel overlooking the harbour in Jersey, Jeremy told me that SO many people had asked for the secret of his weight loss that he'd started to write down his story.

What has followed is a few astonishing months in which the ever enthusiastic, massively hardworking and creatively positive Jeremy has not only completed the book but has now had it published!!! It's called Finally Climbing My Tree - Lost 70lbs Found Myself.

Throughout  this period Jeremy has learnt much more than how to write a book. He's also got a handle on all the (many) complicated things needed to get it to press. 

 

Here's the proof. If you've ever wanted to know what 1,000 paperbacks look like, this is it!

Now before you all start yelling  'OH NO, Not ANOTHER diet book!' let me stop you! 

Finally Climbing My Tree is NOT a diet book - Hallelujah! - and it's not even just about losing weight, although that's an amazing story in itself. It's not simply the tale of how Jeremy finally, after years of struggle, took control of his weight, but also the narrative of how this led to much more control over many more areas of his life.

As Jeremy INTENTIONALLY decided to change his attitude to food, exercise and life, he altered not just his waistline but also his entire outlook on life. Although he's always been a strategic thinking, well planned and resourceful positive person, his weight loss journey has sparked a whole new way of thinking for Jeremy which has left him more self confident, determined and intentional.

You'll note that word again - Intentional - and apart from the book, this past few months has also resulted in the creation of 'Intentional Group', a new company which will come alongside people to help THEM become more 'intentional' in many areas of their lives and 'to help make the unbelievable believable'.

I love the concept of 'Intentional' because I guess it's where I have come from in many aspects of my own life. Although along the way I've sometimes prevaricated, I'm definitely a believer that if you want something to happen, you can make it so! If you want to be happy then thinking and acting positively can help. If you are determined on a particular career path then working hard and taking the opportunities can lead to open doors. It may take sacrifices and the cards might not always fall the way you want them to, but determining to be intentional in your life is far better than just ambling along and hoping for the best. Conversely,  if you think the worst will happen then it probably will. I know life is much  more complicated than that but I've proved many times that when I've intentionally planned and have worked towards an aim, I'm much more likely to achieve it!

I've been privileged to walk this last few months with Jeremy and Lisa and other friends as we've worked on getting the book to print, the website created and so much more. I've absolutely loved working on the text with him, and I thank Jeremy for getting me involved. I'd like to thank Jeremy for this inspirational book and concept. And I look forward to the Intentional Resources future!

So, Finally Climbing My Tree - Lost 70lbs Found Myself is  now available.  I've read it (several times) and am trying to implement part of the system which I hope will also make an impact on my own expanding waistline. I'll keep you informed.

If you're interested in getting hold of the book, Finally Climbing My Tree - Lost 70lbs Found Myself is on Amazon here and also available through the Intentional Resources website here