Cathy Le Feuvre

A Little Welsh Doll

If you take any notice of this blog at all, then you will have realised that it's been a whole twelve months since I posted anything.

My last blog post was March 1st 2022 when I wished you all a 'Happy St David's Day'!

And today I repeat that greeting ... including in Welsh ... because, of course, St David is the patron saint of Wales, and today is his patronal day.

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus!

And in honour of the day, I share with you a Little Welsh Doll ... dressed in traditional Welsh attire ... but more of that later.

When I wrote my blog post last year,  I little realised what the succeeding 12 months would bring.

Let me explain ... and this will also explain my absence.

For quite a few years now I've been living with my darling Mum here in Jersey in the Channel Islands and although she grew older she remained well and happy and active. That is, until the COVID pandemic hit us and, in 2020, forced us all into 'lockdown'.

This affected Mum as it did many elderly folk across the world. We were together as a family (Mum and myself and one of my brothers) but our lives became 'smaller'. Mum's mobility altered and she became frailer. I worked from home for a couple of years but then, at the end of March 2022 I left my job, to work more 'freely' and give myself time to spend more time with Mum as her needs grew.

This time last year Mum was forgetful and not very mobile, and often terribly anxious about pretty much everything, but still herself really. Although we kept isolated, COVID finally got us in late March, and that seemed to speed up Mum's ailments. She quickly became very poorly and her forgetfulness developed into what we now know was full on dementia, with moments when she barely knew us. And yet, there were still moments of clarity and personality, and love.

In The Salvation Army, the Christian denomination (church) that Mum and I are aligned with, when someone dies we say they are 'Promoted to Glory' because we believe that when we die we do not 'disappear' into nothingness, but rather as believers we go to Heaven to be with God and Jesus and all those who have gone before.

In early May last year, our darling Mum was 'promoted to glory'. And although I know that, at the end, she was ready to go ... so tired and so poorly ... the shock of losing her was immense for us all, especially her family.

Mum was the centre of our family, the secure point in my life certainly. She had a special relationship with all her children and I, as the only girl, was privileged to have a beautiful relationship with her. She was not just my mother, but my role model in life and faith, my friend, the person to whom I turned for recognition and affirmation and wise counsel.

And, suddenly, she was gone. No more smiles or laughter, stories, kisses and hugs, support and advice.

The grief I've experienced in the past year has been ... well ... earth shattering for me.

For months I just couldn't operate at all. I was so tired - physically and emotionally exhausted - from the many months of caring for Mum as she became less well and less mobile, more anxious and more vulnerable. Not to mention the last six weeks or so including the final few weeks sitting beside her, holding her hand in hospital as she slowly slipped away. As a family we were able to say our final 'goodbyes' but the whole process ... including hospital issues which I won't go into right now ... was devastating. Losing her has also brought other challenges and anxieties for me and often I have found myself wanting some advice and not having Mum, my sounding board, to turn to.

Right now I'm still tearful at times because I miss Mum so much...but the gut wrenching grief, which overwhelmed me in those first days, weeks and months and which rendered me immobile at times ... is beginning to level out. A little.

And these days I find myself remembering and smiling, sometimes through a few tears, but more often with thanks for the lovely person Mum was, and the relationship I had with her, and the legacy of faith and love that she left us, her family, with.

Today was one of those days and this is where the Little Welsh Doll comes in.

My Mum was originally from Wales and she was very proud of her Welsh heritage ... she kept the traces of her Welsh accent even though she lived out of that country for most of her life. 

Years ago my 'Auntie' Lil, one of my Mum's 'Best Friends' in Wales, made this little doll, probably for a Salvation Army church fair, knitting the outfit which represents the traditional Welsh female national dress. Mum often said that when she was a little girl, she used to be dressed up in the dress, apron, shawl and big hat on St David's Day and for other special occasions. She loved that doll because it reminded her of her childhood and her family who raised her, her heritage, and her friends. The shawl also reminded her that when we, her four children, were babies, she swaddled us close to herself in a Welsh blanket or shawl as generations of Welsh mothers had done before her.

That Little Welsh Doll usually sits on her dresser, but in the past few years we've placed it on the other side of the lounge, on the fireplace mantlepiece where it was in her line of sight from her chair. Seeing it there made Mum smile, and brought memories flooding back.

This time last year when the doll was once again placed on the mantlepiece, we again had a conversation, as we had so many times, about the Welsh costume days, and the Salvation Army bring and buy 'fairs' or sales, especially in the early days of my Mum and Dad's Christian ministry as officers or church leaders of The Salvation Army, some of those spent in South Wales itself.

So, today, I took Mum's Little Welsh Doll from the dresser, blew off a few specks of dust which had gathered on the dress, and placed it on the mantlepiece.

And I smiled, albeit through a few tears, and remembered my Mum with all the love in the world.

I miss our conversations, even if we had them over and over in the past few years. I miss her so much, and every day, and probably will do so until it is my time to cross over to that other land. 

But today, as I remember St David and all my Welsh family and friends, scattered across the world, I smile and remember my darling Mum and give thanks to God that we as her family and friends, and the world, was privileged to have her for so long (nine decades) and we were privileged to be able to care for her at home until almost the end. I give thanks even for those final hours as we watched her slip into Heaven, heart breaking as it was.

Thanks Mum! Love you Lots! See you in the morning!

Hope you're enjoying your first St David's Day in Heaven!

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Hapus!

Happy St David's Day!

Today is St David's Day!

And if you're from the country of Wales, if you're Welsh, or part-Welsh (as I am) this is an important day.

On March 1st every year the people of Wales, and those of Welsh heritage wherever they are in the world, celebrate their patron saint. 

My Mum is Welsh so in our family we've always known about St David's Day. But it was when I spent my final two years of schooling in Wales that I realised how passionate people are about their saint, their history, their culture and their language. 

On this day, people wear the traditional symbols of Wales - daffodils or leeks - and in fact at school I remember one girl coming to class with a leek ... a huge vegetable ... pinned to her chest.

It WAS, of course, very funny ... and wow did it smell by the end of the day ... but it also impressed me as being a great show of 'nationality'.

On this day we may also enjoy traditional Welsh food ... my favourites are Welsh cakes which are like little griddle pancakes. Yum!

Today - St David's Day 2022  - also happens to be Shrove Tuesday, the start of the season of Lent, 40 days during which Christians prepare for Easter.

Shrove Tuesday is also known as 'Pancake Day' ... if you want to find out more about that maybe you'd like to read my blog post from 2021 when I wrote a blog every day of the year ... 'One Day at a time'.

But let's get back to St David, and you might be asking this question ... who was he?

Well in the 6th century, he was a Bishop of a place called 'Mynyw', which is the modern day St Davids, a city in the county of Pembrokeshire  in the southwest of the country.

David (Dewi) was born in Wales, although there's no clear evidence as to the year that happened. It is known that he was a celebrated teacher and preacher and that he founded monasteries and churches in Wales - St David's Cathedral is situated on the site of a monastery he founded in the Glyn Rhosyn valley of Pembrokeshire - in 'Dumnonia' (a kingdom in the southwest of England) and even Brittany in France. David is even believed to have visited the ancient religious site of Glastonbury. 

David established his own Monastic Rule, a system of religious and daily living for monks, and one of David's main rules was that when his followers were tilling the soil, THEY had to pull the plough themselves, rather than animals. Monks living by the Monastic Rule of David drank only water and ate only bread with salt and herbs - no meat, and certainly no beer. They were allowed no personal possessions and while David's monks worked in the day, they spent the evenings reading, writing and praying. 

So, why is David's feast day March 1st? 

That's the day when it's thought he died. As with his birth, there's a question mark over what year that was. Some say 601AD, others 589AD. 

David was buried in St David's Cathedral and his shrine was a popular place of pilgrimage throughout the Middle Ages. Invading Vikings removed the shrine during the 10th and 11th centuries but in 1275 a new shrine was constructed, the ruined base of which remains to this day.  

Although St David had been a popular saint in Wales since the 12th century, his religious feast day didn't become a national festival until the 18th century. And it's on March 1st every year that Welsh heritage people celebrate the man who now is their patron saint. Children especially are encouraged to celebrate as they learn about their history, and they often head to school for the day dressed as coal miners or in the traditional Welsh woman costume, with the girls often wearing a leek in their lapel. I remember at school one girl wearing such a BIG leek, a huge green vegetable, that it covered her whole chest and ... boy did it smell (like onion).

But why daffodils, and why leeks ? 

Well the leek became a symbol of the Welsh spirit because one legend says that St David advised his people to wear leeks in a battle against the Saxons. It was the days of hand-to-hand combat and wearing the leek meant that they would be recognised as Welsh by their compatriots in the heat of the battle - so no chance of someone killing a fellow Welshman! That's just one of the stories, but leeks were a popular food for many centuries and were also used for medicinal purposes, and the link with St David's Day is thought to be especially through the Tudors, who had strong Welsh roots and heritage.

And the daffodil?

This lovely yellow blooms appears in early Spring, around the time of St David's Day and it's just a joyful flower, isn't it?

But the floral link with Wales is fairly recent really and is thought to have been adopted as an alternative to the leek in the early 20th century, by which time the wearing of vegetables on your coat on March 1st had become a bit of a joke. Welsh politician and elder statesman David Lloyd George, who was British Prime Minister from 1916 to 1922, was said to be an advocate of the daffodil being used as a symbol of his Homeland.

The Welsh are a proud people and on St David's Day that pride is more obvious than ever.

If you're not aware, the country (now called the Principality) has its own ancient language. Welsh is a Celtic language - with links to the ancient Celtic Britons - and although for centuries Welsh was the common language of the people, it did fall into decline in the early 20th century as English became dominant. However in the 1990's the value of the native language was formerly recognised for its importance to the Welsh culture, heritage and future, with The Welsh Language Act 1993 and the Government of Wales Act 1998  regulating that the Welsh and English languages should be treated equally in the public sector, where sensible and possible.

These days there's Welsh speaking media, the language is taught in schools, as well as there being educational establishments where Welsh is the predominant language for conversation and teaching. I read recently that as of September 2020, it was reckoned that about a third of the population of Wales could speak the language and more than 15% spoke Welsh every day. It's been a real success story for the reinvigoration of a mother language that could easily have died out. And if you visit Wales, you'll see signs everywhere in Welsh and English.  

I know just a few words of Welsh ... passed down through my Welsh heritage ... but I'm no expert.

So, finally, today I could say 'Happy St. David’s Day!

But I instead will sign off by wishing you ...  'Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant Hapus!'

Blue Monday or Multi-coloured Monday?

Sorry to announce this but ... if you weren't already aware ... today is ...

BLUE MONDAY!

Depressing I know ... again ... sorry!

Today is the third Monday of January, a day which apparently is supposed to be the 'gloomiest' day of the year.

It's sort of midwinter so in some parts of the world the weather is cold and dark and damp ...  that can be a bit depressing. After Christmas some of us are facing debt, and the bills will start rolling in. If we've made New Year's Resolutions, some of us may have fallen off our intended wagon already. All round, it's a day when all the things that are 'bad' in our lives seem to congregate.

Or is it?

Interestingly Blue Monday only dates back to about 2005 - the idea was included in a press release from the British travel company Sky Travel who cited psychologist Dr Cliff Arnall. He had devised an algorithm which indicated that the third Monday in January is the one on which we feel the most gloomy. 

It was a way just to sell holidays!

However, as the media and advertising industries are wont to do, everyone jumped on the concept and since then the day has been in the international diary, with hours of time dedicated today to telling us why we may be feeling sad, and what we can/should do about it. 

And VOILÀ!

Today it's a thing which we all think is real!

However, since that first Blue Monday, even the man behind the formula, Dr Arnall, has said it was never his intention to made the day sound so depressing and that unfortunately the coining of that phrase has, in many cases, become a 'self-fulfilling prophecy'. We hear it's 'Blue Monday' and we automatically tend to feel ... well ... BLUE!

The idea has been de-bunked over and over again, including by mental health organisations, who feel the branding of the day is really unhelpful. Actually some now would like us to call the day 'MULTI-COLOURED MONDAY'!

That's much better, don't you think? 

Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we're encouraged to turn everything on its head. Wear bright clothing, think positive, go for a walk ... you know what I'm talking about!

But back to the original Blue Monday idea  ... as I said, it really is a construct of the advertising and media industries and while there are companies and organisations happy to jump on the band wagon it'll be difficult to shift in our psyche. These days companies use it to sell all sort of 'cures' for our gloomy mood ...  vitamin pills, drinks, exercises programmes and equipment as well as those hotel rooms and holidays in the sun. 

Due to the fact that the day has been hijacked by companies with something to sell off the back of people's perceived misery, it's unlikely to be replaced soon by the more positive messaging ... but I'm with mental health campaigners who have stressed that depression isn’t something to be capitalised on. 

I hold my hand up ... before I understood much about this I did run 'Blue Monday' features on my radio shows ... although I believe in the final years of my days in the studio I did introduce the alternative 'Multi-coloured Monday' and tried to concentrate on the positive!

And that's what I'm concentrating on today.

After all, today is not a 'real thing' ... it's made up and we can choose to fixate on it or not. It's certainly most unhelpful at a time when many of us may not be at our best, still feeling the effects of the coronavirus pandemic including restrictions and the constant news coverage of the worst of the COVID figures and deaths!

Dr Arnall himself has urged us all to 'refute the whole notion' - so are you with me?

Let's ditch the blue ... maybe consider wearing something bright and colourful. Speak to a friend, laugh out loud ... and avoid watching those depressing news programmes and TV shows which at the moment seem to be increasingly emphasising the depressing situation facing the world today, including using words like 'crisis', 'disaster' and 'critical' and 'catastrophe'.

Of course, if we are feeling really bad then we may need to seek some professional help - that's important.

But we can also try to just breathe through today, rise above all the negative stuff that may be thrown at us, try to look on the bright side of life, simply try to enjoy life and smile!

Especially today!

Have a great day everyone!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Happy New Year!

Hi everyone!

Happy New Year!

It's 2022!

If you've been following me for the past year or so - thanks so much by the way - you'll know that during the whole of 2021 I wrote a daily blog called 'One Day at a Time'.

I managed to write or post something every day, which was a bit of a miracle at times ... and it was quite a journey.

Anyway, as I said on my final 'One Day at a Time' post of 2021 ... I'm still writing. I enjoyed the daily writing and was really encouraged by last year's experience and actually the daily post became a bit of a ritual so I'll still continue to ramble a bit from time to time - perhaps not EVERY day but more frequently anyway.

I have lots of exciting things coming up this year - including a new book - so do keep in touch!

From now I'll be posting again on this site, my main blog ... but 'One Day at a Time' is still there so please feel free to go back and read my year if you feel up to it! Click on that tab up there at the top of this page and you can read everything from Jan 1st 2021 onwards!

Meanwhile, on this first day of 2022 ... all I want to say is ... HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I trust 2022 will be healthy, happy and peaceful for you all! 

Live your dreams!

Have a great year everyone!