Knowing Yourself
It starts with a Smile

First ... be Kind

Recently I've been doing the final bits of writing for my new book.

Yes, I'm writing a(nother) book ... this one with a friend and co-author Debbie Duncan ... and our subject is Kindness.

As part of my research, I recorded an interview with a friend - Alison Fox - who happens to be a practising counsellor and psychotherapist, and we chatted about how it's important not just to be kind to each other .. but also to be kind to ourselves. 

It's something Alison often counsels and encourages people to do as part of working with those suffering from trauma, mental health issues, eating disorders, childhood abuse, depression, anxiety and stress.

Being kind to ourselves can mean lots of things ... it doesn't mean we always put ourselves first above others, but it also doesn't mean we should always put ourselves LAST. Interesting stuff and it's really made me think.

Yes I know I've spoken about this before, and about the need for us to be kind in this world ... but it is becoming a bit of a theme for me as I complete this book.

But this idea of being kind to MYSELF is a challenge. I've grown up to believe that I must do good to others, but sometimes I neglect myself. I fail to take time for myself, to give myself a break. 

You see, I don't want to be seen as self-centred or selfish. I'm 'conditioned' I suppose to think that I must always look for the needs of others and that means I sometimes neglect my own needs.

I'm sure this will be in the book, but for me, personally, this is all a work in progress. Thanks to Alison and others who are helping me on the journey.

And thoughts like this help.

Maybe some days I just need first to be kind ... to myself.

Maybe I need to give myself the rest I need to get through a stressful day. Putting ourselves first will look different to everyone but I know that giving myself a break, to breathe, is vital to my health and wellbeing. I need to care for myself... otherwise I won't be in any condition to care for others.

I need to remind myself to be grateful for everything I've been given in life. And not to take life for granted.

And - something I was talking about yesterday actually - I need to learn to love myself ... unconditionally ... with all my faults and flaws and quirks and peculiarities. I've said this before as well, but the older I get the less I care about what others think.  I certainly don't compare myself with others as I used to. But that has come with time.

Maybe 'being kind to myself' will also be something that, in time, I will master.


Be kind





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